May And December
by Latifah27
Summary: shadow survives the fall, but loses his eyesight. will he find joy through the pain? shadow/fleetway character. may-december romance(young man/old woman) *FINAL CHAPTER UP!!!* sorry for the long wait, but i was busy, and a friend of mine was sick :)
1. Surviving the Fall

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Ok, you've seen your share of 'Shadow survives' stories, but none like this...

"May And December: Healing Hearts"

Inspired by a pic(by the same name) that Orin painted, which was based on another fic I'm still working on, which is based on one of her discontinued fics(*pant* *pant*). It's a painting of Knuckles and my self-insert, and it looks so animated. Looks like Latifah 27(yes, that's my self-insert's name) is about to pull Knux into an embrace and wrap him in her cloak. He's holding her hand, she's stroking his head, and they're all alone, healing each other's mental scars. Very beautiful, and my favorite, of course;)

Enjoy!

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I'm falling... burning up... Maria... I did this for you... these people will live now... Maria... I can hear you calling me...

It hurts... it won't stop hurting... I'm burning up! I must make it stop!

"Chaos-control!"

Everything goes black.

**********************

I wake up sore all over, smelling burnt flesh and quills. Mine... It hurts to move, and everything is so dim...

My eyes hurt... I should close them... I should rest...

It's so dark here... Shouldn't there be some light?

Maria... please forgive me... I should have died, so you wouldn't be alone, wherever you are...

I'm alone... there's nobody here... it's raining, and I can't move... I'm soaked, cold... and I can't move because it hurts so bad, and the searing rain is mercilessly pelting me... please just let it be over... let it be over...

I hear an old woman's voice...

"Oh! Is it... it's alive!"

A hand touches me, gently. It feels good, despite the burning sensation.

"Are you alright?" the voice asks.

Of course I'm not alright! I think to myself, I've just been burned in re-entry, and I can't see a blessed thing! Of course I'm not alright!

But I don't answer, except to groan.

The hand touches me again, stroking my head and back, the slightest, gentlest touch... like the kiss Maria gave me, just before...

NO! I don't want to remember that. I don't want to remember Maria's frail body, laying there in a pool of blood like a raped angel... I don't want to remember...

"Here," the voice says, and I feel something warm covering me...

Whoever it was has picked me up and is now carrying me. I'm too weak to say or do anything, so I just rest my head against the body of my rescuer, letting her carry me, while i listen to the gentle rythm of her heart.

**********************

I wake up again, dry, and in a dark place filled with strange smells. It still hurts to move. I can feel... something covering me... my whole body...

"Maria..." I say, with great difficulty.

My mouth hurts when I talk... my voice sounds strange, raspy...

"Don't try to talk," the voice says, "Here, drink this"

My head is slowly tipped up, and something touches my burnt lips. A bowl, or a cup... whatever is in there smells inviting... I'm hungry, I realize, and drink.

It's some kind of broth... I drink it greedily, because I'm so hungry... And it tastes so good...

I finish the broth, and the cup is taken away. I hear it being set down somewhere beside me, and something else is held to my lips.

Water... they say it has no flavor, but I disagree. Nothing tastes as sweet as water when you're dying of thirst.

"Thank you," I manage.

I'm so weak, I can barely talk.

"Shh," my rescuer says, "Rest, hedgehog. Don't try to talk. Just rest"

I can feel her stroking my hand. My hands aren't bandaged... maybe my gloves protected them from being burned too seriously...

I fall asleep again, my body exhausted.

**********************

"This is gonna hurt... alot," my rescuer says.

She was right. I cry out, as she slowly tears the bandages from me. The pain is almost unbearable...

"It's ok," she tells me, and holds my hand until some of the pain goes away.

Finally, my bandages are all off, and I'm laying here, exposed, while she prepares me for fresh bandages.

"Now this is really going to sting," she warns, "I need you to keep still so I can clean your wounds"

I know that smell. Alcohol... And my body being burnt as it is...

"AAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!"

I writhe and scream in pain, as the searing alcohol is poured onto me. My rescuer is holding onto my hands, tight, keeping my arms almost immobile.

"Please hold still!" she says, "I know it hurts, but I don't want you to get infected!"

I nod, and grit my teeth, as the stinging, searing liquid is poured onto my burned body... it hurts so bad...

Soon, it's over, then I'm bandaged and fed.

What an indignity... I can't even feed myself... And everything is so dark... Why can't I see anything?

"Why are the lights off...?" I ask her.

"Please rest," she says, "You're putting too much strain on yourself"

"What's... wrong... with me?" I demand.

There's a pause.

"Did you see that? How many fingers am I holding up?" the woman asks.

"See what...?" I ask, "What fingers...?

I didn't see anything. Nothing but darkness. Am I...?

"Oh, dear..." I hear her say.

No!

"No... can't... be... no... no..."

I can feel my rescuer take my hands, but I pull away. I'm frightened... What happened to me?

I get up, but I can't even stand. I'm so weak, scared... I must get out... Maria...

My rescuer has a tight hold on me... she won't let go...

"LET GO OF ME!!!" I scream.

"Please stop struggleing," she says, her voice frantic, "You need to rest!"

"LET ME GO!!! WHAT DO YOU WANT WITH ME???"

"I don't want anything! Just please don't move! You've been burned very badly!"

Her grip on me is like steel... I can't escape... What does she want with me?

"Please... let me go..." I beg, "It hurts...please... stop... hurting me..."

"I know... I know it hurts," she says, "I can't make it stop. I'm sorry..."

"No..." I sob, feeling weak and faint, "No... no..."

I'm too weak to struggle... as I relax, so does my rescuer's grip...

I go limp, and feel her easing me onto something soft and firm... and warm...

She takes my hand... I'm too exhausted to fight her... and gently kisses it...

"When two people like each other alot..." I begin, but can't finish because of my weakness.

"Shh..." she says, "Just rest your head... I will take care of you"

My rescuer holds my hand to her face, and touches mine... I feel something weird, soothing... something inviting me to come closer...

{It's ok..}. the voice says, this time, inside my head... {it's ok... rest... You've done so much... Shadow... now you must rest...}

I can't resist her, nor do I want to... Pyjamas... her name is... Pyjamas...

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Ok, you're wondering why Pyjamas is able to restrain the ultimate life-form. Well, think about it, he's so weak that he can barely talk, and struggling has taken alot out of him. And what with all those Sonic/Shadow and Shadow/Knuckles fics, I thought it was time for something different. If we have slash, why can't we have a little May/December?


	2. Not Alone

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Ok, more weirdness, pain, and angst... Poor Shadow...

This is probably one of the weirdest romances on ff.net. The cool thing about it is, my friend Rock-Chick loves it! She's addicted to it, and is planning on writing an A.U. You should check out her fics as well, and her comics(she's working on a fan-continuation of Egmont/Fleetway's 'Sonic the Comic'). Just go to Http://www.crosswinds.net/~stc2/. She and I are currently working on a joint-comic, Rebirth.

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***

...Say something, you fake hedgehog!

Chaos control!

!!!

What?

Everything is dark... Wasn't I fighting Sonic..?

...Now I remember... I fell... I fell from ARK... Maria...

...Shadow...

What?

...Shadow...

Maria?

...Shadow... it's me...

"Maria!"

I reach out, but it hurts...

"Maria?"

"No," a familliar voice says, "Pyjamas"

She takes my hand, and touches it to her face... her soft, round face...

"It's ok," she says, "I'm here. Just relax while I fix you something"

Where am I? Why is she doing this, when she doesn't even know me...?

I'm picked up again, carried in my rescuer's arms. She sets me down on something dry and soft, and covers me with something warm. I can hear something boiling, and smell... broth...

I'm hungry...

Right now, she's in another room, probably the room I was in...

...Whatever I'm laying on isn't damp and doesn't smell like alcohol... I like it... I run my fingers on its surface and it feels like the fur on my chest... at least what it felt like before...

"This is gonna hurt now. I'm sorry," Pyjamas says.

"Urggh! Hurts..."

"I know, Shadow, I know it hurts"

I wince in pain and protest as she removes my bandages again. I'm gripping whatever she laid me on, tearing at it because of the pain...

I'm naked again... burnt flesh exposed to the open air... and I smell the alcohol... no... please no...

Pyjamas takes my hands and touches them to something soft... soft skin around hard bone... her arms...

...?

"Now hold on tight," she says, "This is going to hurt"

Great burning pain! Stinging, searing, awful pain!

I grip her arms as tight as I can, and can hear her moaning in pain... I'm hurting her... but I can't stop because of the pain...

The searing, burning liquid is poured over my exposed body... my face... everywhere where I was burned... it hurts so bad... please stop...

{I can't... you could get gangrene...}

A flash... I see... no... my... body???

It is... covered in lesions... great angry red lesions...

It goes away... yanked away... I could feel it... did Pyjamas...?

...?

Do I really look like that??? No! I should have died! I SHOULD HAVE DIED!!! PLEASE KILL ME SO I WON'T HAVE TO LIVE LIKE THIS!!! I DON'T WANT TO LIVE BLIND AND DISFIGURED!!!

{NO! I won't kill you... you don't deserve to die... you haven't even begun to live!}

"AND HOW WILL I LIVE BLIND AND UGLY?!?! AND USELESS!!! I'M USELESS!!!" I scream, by now not caring about the stinging alcohol.

"Please don't do this! You're weak!" Pyjamas says.

"GET AWAY FROM ME!!! LET ME DIE!!! JUST LET ME DIE!!!" I tell her, but she doesn't... she just takes my hands and holds tightly... somehow I am relieved... but why...?

"Please rest... I know how you feel... I'm psychic, you know," she says.

Then, I see something... G.U.N. soldiars! They're after me! They're very close!

Another flash... strange... psychic-flashes... visions... the future???

WE HAVE TO GET AWAY!!! THEY'RE GONNA KILL US!!! RUN!!! MARIA!!!!!!!!

...?

What?

No....

Maria's dead... she died fifty years ago...

"Maria..." I sob, a pathetic sound...

I can hear Pyjamas weeping, feel her stroking my hands... touching them to her lips, kissing them, just barely brushing them... an angel's soft touch... Maria... my only friend... told me what a kiss was...

NO! I DON'T WANT TO REMEMBER THAT!!! IT'S TOO PAINFUL!!!

The alarms... soldiars... weapons discharging...

WHY DID THEY DO THIS??? WHAT DID I EVER DO TO THEM??? I HATE THEM!!! THEY KILLED MARIA!!!

A kiss... on my hand, a touch to her face.... her lips touch my hand... supposed to make it better... a kiss makes it better... but how...?

A flash... a memory... kissing a wound makes it better... scraped-knee... bump on the head...

I relax... slowly pull one of my hands away... she doesn't stop me, though I can feel the muscles in her hands tense... I reach for her hands and hold them, stroke the soft, loose skin... feel the spark it gives... strange... not a physical spark, like electricity... yet so similar... magic?

Magic like the rabbit in the hat?

Maria showed me this 'magic'... Maria...

***

I'm bandaged again... bandaged, so my senses are dulled... good and bad...

And I itch... can't scratch... don't want it to hurt...

A cup is brought to my lips again... I don't know how long I've been here, but it has been quite awhile... I'm used to this... my head propped-up by a gentle hand, while the other feeds me, wipes my mouth, gives me water... with a spoon?

This isn't water... it has a bitter flavor... bitter, yet pleasent... and I can hear her blowing on it before she feeds it to me...

"You like it?" Pyjamas asks.

I nod.

"It's tea," she says.

Tea... medicine for burns...?

...Supposed to make me feel better... but how...?

Then she stops using the spoon, and brings the cup to my lips. I drink the tea, which is warm... was it hot before...? Why?

"Pyjamas..." I croak, "... I'm ugly... why do you..."

I can feel her wrapping her arms around me... even through the bandages.... she holds me... like a child...?

Holds my head against her shoulder... I can feel it... and I can hear her heart beating, feel her strong arms through the bandages...

I weep... for Maria... and myself...

Maria...

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No, I do not plan on giving Shadow his sight back. That's not what this story's about. I'm focusing on healing the heart, rather than the body. I think Shadow deserved better, and I'm writing a storyline where he finds joy, where he learns to love again. What can I say? I'm just a hopeless romantic...

And yes, I was raised on those Hallmark movies. They're actually very good, my favorites being "A little Piece of Heaven" and another one(which I didn't catch the title to) about a nun who eventually gave up her favorite fir tree so it could be used as a Christmas tree. Very cute movie.

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	3. True Love?

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Ok, more mush, and Shadow is recovering nicely. Also, I wrote a little from Pyjamas' point of view, because I thought it would be fun to get into her as well.

And this is a chick-fic. If romantic mush makes you hurl, please leave!

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He's so weak and frail... and covered with burns... What a horrible way to live...

I hold him close and try to calm him down, but he's inconsolable. Only fatigue stops him from trying to escape... my dear, dear Shadow... I wish I could make it stop hurting...

Most of his body is horribly burned, except for his hands and feet, and his hair has fallen out. He's seen what his body looks like, even though I tried to hide it. Shadow... a child with a heart as dark as his fur, but a pure heart, like the ruff on his chest... what it was before the fall... beautiful...

And the nightmares... his best friend, his sister, killed in cold-blood... it brings tears to my eyes...

I lay down beside him. He's shivering, as if he's frightened... I wrap him in the blanket from my bed, which he's sleeping in, and hold him. He stops shivering, and relaxes...

Ebony's probably worried about me... I've been away from the Groovy-Train for quite awhile. I hope she doesn't worry too much. I've had to visit stores on the other side of Metropolis Zone, so Ebony wouldn't notice how much rubbing-alcohol I have been buying, as well as the bandages. That would make her even more suspicious, seeing that I've already been behaving rather odd lately... odd compared to how I usually behave... can't have her thinking I've got some weird fetish or something, and I can't have the millitary knowing what I'm up to... lousy good-for-nothing...

I have to do all that, and shop for food, before Shadow wakes up, or he's gonna get himself hurt or killed... every time I leave my house I pray that he'll be alive when I get back... it would kill me if he died...

********

I feel... arms gently wrapped around me... warmth...

Someone has wrapped me up... my hands can feel the blanket... soft and fuzzy, like my fur... like it used to be...

No! It remindes me of what I used to be! What I used to look like! Now I'm ugly! Maria... I remember her... her kiss... the pool of blood around her dying body...

I feel a hand holding mine... Pyjamas?

"Shh-shh... it's ok, Shadow," she whispers.

"I'm ugly..." I say.

To which she squeezes me tighter for a moment, strokes my bandaged head...

"Please... please let me die... I've kept my promise..." I beg, longing to escape from this pain.

"No! I'm not a murderer!" Pyjamas answers.

Why would she want to keep me alive, when I'm nothing but a big wound? Covered with burns and blisters...

I try to pull away, but I'm so weak... and it hurts... Maria... I want to be with Maria... I should have died with her...

{...then Mobius would be destroyed...}

Maria... I shouldn't have used chaos-control... I should've died... I wanted to be with you...

I start to weep... my stomach lurches... and the contents spill out... another indignity... 

"Uh, oh... looks like we gotta little mess here..." Pyjamas chuckles, "Looks like the broth didn't quite agree with you"

She sits me up, gently... my stomach is still reeling... I moan a little, and she seems to understand, slowly easing me up...

My rescuer carries me back to where I was before... I can still smell the alcohol she had bathed me with...

She takes the blanket off of me... it's wet with my vomit... Why couldn't I handle the broth?

"Must've been too strong for you," Pyjamas says, as she wipes my mouth, "I'll get you some milk. That should help you feel better"

"Tea..." I say, my voice still raspy.

"And some tea"

I reach out for her, to feel her face, feel her smiling... she takes my hand and presses it gently to her face...

I can feel... dampness... she was crying, still is... but she's smiling...

Pyjamas sets my hand down, stroking it as she does. I like the feel of her strong, warm hands on mine...

"I'll be back. Just sit tight," she says.

When she comes back, she takes my hand again, and puts a cup in it... it's cold... strange...

She lifts my head and helps me drink, holding the cup steady in my hand. I've tasted milk before, but this is different... cold... much better than the milk I was given for the first few weeks after I was born. It tastes so good, and it washes the acrid taste from my mouth.

I finish it all, but I'm still hungry... strange... I wasn't hungry before she fed me...

"More... please..." I say.

"Ok," she answers, "But you should be careful, after you've just thrown up"

She gives me another glass of milk, then some tea. No broth... probably best, because it felt so horrible to throw up. I don't ever want to do that again...

After I'm finished with my tea, my bandages are changed again, and I'm put to bed. Pyjamas sleeps next to me, holding my hand, and sometimes telling strange stories... knights, dragons, magic... things I remember reading about in Maria's books... you're so good to me... why?

I love you, Pyjamas...

********

Several days have passed... no, weeks... my bandages were taken off today, most of them permanently. It feels so good to have them off, to be able to move more easily... and I can feel a soft fuzz where the bandages once were... my fur... it's growing back...

Pyamas still washes me in alcohol, but not as much. And now she's using peroxide and some kind of cream.

Right now, she's reading to me... her voice is so soothing... I wish she would never stop...

"...then he threw the sword into the lake, so it could never again be used to turn people to stone..."

Strange... I can almost see the knight, and the princess in chains... she almost looks like... Maria... my beautiful Maria, in chains... I wish I had saved her...

{She's in a better place now, Shadow...} Pyjamas whispers in my mind, {You did all you could... don't blame yourself... maybe I should read a different-}

"No," I say, "I like it... I like the way it ends... the knight rescues the girl... she doesn't die... does that happen? Are people really like that?"

There's a pause...

"Some people are like that... and some are bad..."

"I... I wish I could read it too... please... mind-link..."

"I'm sorry," Pyjamas says, "I can't... it takes so much out of me. And then there's these-oh..."

She trails off, and I can see a flash... she's having another vision...

The millitary! They're coming to get me!!! NO!!! I DON'T WANT TO DIE!!!

...Yet I do... strange... I'm torn... I want to die, but I don't... why?

Suddenly, there is a sound, of something being hit...

"It's the door," Pyjamas whispers, worry in her voice.

I can feel her muscles tense... she's nervous, like she 'knows' who's at the door...

She rises from where she was sitting, gently laying me back down, and I can hear her walking out of the bedroom...

********

I open the door, trying my best to look nonchalant. Just as I thought... the millitary... cursed millitary-humes... I hate them. How the hell am I going to get through this one? Wait... that's it!

"Hello, officer, what brings you here today?" I ask, trying to sound like your average old hippie.

There is an advantage to being old, having little or no so-called 'taste' in clothing, and dealing with these visions. I'll just be what everyone probably thinks of me. The crazy old psychic-wannabe. Simple enough.

"Excuse me, Miss, but have you seen a black hedgehog, 'bout this high, with red eyes, and a patch of white fur on his chest?"

Yes, I did see a hedgehog, but he doesn't look at all like that, probably because he's burned, you idiot! I think, trying not to smirk.

"Well," I say, pretending to be out of it, "Indeed I have"

The man raises an eyebrow.

"Can you tell me his whereabouts?"

Action!

I nod.

"Yes, officer, in fact, he's looking at you right now. I think he likes you. Care to come in for some tea?"

"No," the man says, turning to leave.

"Oh, come on in, it'll be no trouble at all," I say, "I can even read your palm, free of charge, of course-oh..."

My visions happen so often, that they're easy to fake. I just never had the need to do so. I fall to my knees, and stare off into space... taking advantage of my odd perm. Nobody can see my eyes... it's better than wearing shades, and I never have to worry about makeup.

"What the hell are you doing?" the man asks.

"Oh... run!" I whisper, over-dramatizing my vision just a little bit, "Someone is after you... run... while you still can... take me with you..."

The human groans. Pyjamas, you are a genius...

"Great... another 'psychic'... just what I need..." he grumbles.

"Run!" I say, laughing inside, "Run! He's after us! Please don't let him get me!"

"Yeah, whatever..." he says, his voice sarcastic, "And how much do you want for the fortune? And are we still up for the palm-reading?"

He laughs, the idiot... what a typical millitary-hume... stupid and gullible...

I snap out of it, and hold my hand out.

"Ten mobiums, please," I say, "And the palm-reading is free when you purchase a Lava lamp, officer"

The human laughs even harder. He digs into his pocket, fishes out a slip, and writes on it.

"Can you take an I.O.U.?" he asks, grinning at me like I'm the biggest fool on Mobius.

I nod, knowing he's probably going to try to fool me and write something insulting on it. Of course, he has no idea who's fooling who...

He hands me the slip, and sure enough, I was right. He has just insulted me. Oh, well... never did take much stock in his type...

"Thank you," I say, pretending to not be able to read it.

The man laughs, before turning to leave again.

"You're welcome," he says, in a tone that says, 'sucker'.

I smile to myself, and watch him until he's gone, then I go back to my room and collapse on the bed. That was a close one. Goes to show that I should trust my visions, since they could come true.

********

I heard some noise, a man talking... I hope Pyjamas is ok...

Footsteps... she's back. I can recognize her by the way she walks... and her scent. Sometimes it changes a little, but the moment I smell it, I know Pyjamas is going to be right by my side. I like that smell...

She flops down like she's exhausted, landing with a dull thud next to me.

"Pyjamas," I begin, "What happened?"

"You don't want to know," she answers, letting out what sounds like a sigh of relief.

"Yes I do," I say, my voice sounding a little different now.

I want to know what was going on, what was making Pyjamas so upset.

"The millitary... they... sent one of their men here..." she says.

No... they're after me... they know I survived...

I huddle closer to Pyjamas, resting my head on her warm body... I'm safe...

She takes my hands, squeezes them... I gently pull them free, my efforts met with no resistance, and run my fingers over her hands, stroking her fingers, kissing them... she does the same, touches them to her face, smiling, rubbing her cheek against them...

I'm... smiling... I never thought I would ever be so happy again... I touch Pyjamas' face, feeling for her eyes... they'e under her hair... hidden... but I have found them!

"Don't," she says, gently batting my hand away.

There's a long pause... I put my hand on her shoulder...

"It's... something I don't... want to be reminded of," she says, "I... I'm sorry"

I understand... Maria... I wish I could block what happened out of my mind...

I touch her face, and catch a tear...

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	4. ...Angel?

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Ok... more mush, crying, and emotional wounds. And I hope you'll be able to handle the scene at the end. It's not sad or violent, just... weird. and now I'm torturing Pyjamas... yes, I know, I am sick. Deal with it.

Hi there, Orin! It's so cool you got back to writing! and I love your new fics! You should continue them, because I know you love to write. and if anyone flames you, just give me his address, and he'll have to deal with me;)

And if we ever meet(which I know is highly improbable), I would love it if you could paint a picture of me-blemishes and all(I like the idea of 'divine-truth' as Akhenaten, Nefertiti's husband, called it, and Oliver Cromwell was very different, wanting the painter to include all his blemishes in his portrait).

and I got a new html-editor, a free one that gives me previews in a browser, and it's a good way to really get comfortable with html. it's way better than just using notepad, but harder than frontpage express, which I have been using for most of my fics. if you're interested, check out developer's pad, because it's free, and it not only has code for html, but also java, visual basic, and other programing-languages. 

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"Hello?"

"Pyjamas, it's me, Ebony"

"This really isn't a good time..."

"Pyjamas, I'm worried. You haven't showed up at the Groovy Train lately, and you still haven't told me what's going on"

"I can't... please believe me... It's very important... and no, it's not one of those 'duds'. just do me a favor and stop worrying"

"It's just... I care about you, and I want to make sure you're alright..."

"I will be just fine. Please don't worry. I'll get back to the Groovy Train as soon as I can"

"Ok... if you need any help... just call me... it get's lonely here without you"

"I will... I have to go now... good bye..."

I set the reciever down, and the click seems to pound into my brain... I have to do this, because I don't want Ebony to get involved... until shadow is well enough to travel, I can't get anyone involved...

But it's such a joy to take care of him... and the night is so beautiful... No! I can't risk it!

...Or can I?

Yes... Shadow needs it... the cool air could help him feel better... he's been cooped-up in this stuffy building for who-knows-how-long...

But what if he catches cold?

No... he'll be just fine... I won't let him die...

********

We're outside... it's cold, and I hear strange, yet soothing noises... it's so peaceful at night... It feels so good, being outside for the first time in months... I wish this night would last forever...

I can feel the cool breezes gently blowing against my cheek... the air is so refreshing that I almost feel well enough to stand. I don't though, because I'm still very weak, and just rest my head against Pyjamas... She wraps the blanket a little tighter around me, and kisses my forehead...

Neither of us dwell too much on my errant hands, which had found her eyes... why she wouldn't want me to touch her eyes, I'll probably never know... I hope whatever it is, I didn't cause it...

At least we still play that little game... touching each other's faces, stroking and kissing hands... I like doing that... I can't do much because I'm still weak and blind...

Sometimes I feel depressed, and ask Pyjamas to kill me... I don't know why... I'm happy... sometimes, though, I remember Maria, and cry... But she's been dead for so many years, that I know nothing can bring her back... why am I still crying for her when I know I can't do anything about it?

Whenever that happens, Pyjamas holds me, keeps me from pulling away and hurting myself... she stayed up all night for me once, and then all day, to care for me... told me she didn't dare go to sleep until she was sure I was asleep first... and to think I could have destroyed her along with this whole world... I shudder at the thought...

She read to me, like she does every day, and I insisted that she continue, even though the girl in the story, 'Ayla', reminded me of Maria... and me, lonely... no... I'm not lonely anymore.

I wish I could read that 'Cave-Bear' story... but I can't... Pyjamas told me there is a writing that blind people can read, and said that she would teach it to me soon.

We didn't talk much tonight, except about how peaceful it was... Pyjamas also showed me the stars, flashing them in my mind so I could see... they look different than when I was on ARK... I know why, but they're much more beautiful when I don't think about what really makes them look that way...

********

Shadow's so frail and weak... but he's changed... the darkness in his heart is lifting... he's happy... that smile on his face is so beautiful... 

He almost looks like a hedgehog, even though he will always have a few scars. And his fur is different... instead of black and red, it's almost pure white, with a little light grey... I think it means something...

But there's no hope for his eyes. The damage is permanent... he will live the rest of his life in darkness... at least it's of the eyes, not the heart. I think he knows that, or if he doesn't, I should tell him... he needs to know...

I know it wasn't very bright to take Shadow outside, since I've already been acting strangely enough to arouse suspicion, but it wouldn't be fair to just leave him in the house when he's still awake and in need of my care. Just don't want the military-humes to notice me... that performance a few weeks ago could have either made them write me off as another stupid hippie, or aroused more suspicion... not a pleasent thought...

Shadow's such an innocent little baby, a baby in a fully-grown body... I wish I could tell him... no... I don't want to think about that... I don't want to distress him... he's still very weak... it could kill him, seeing what... happened to me... why I always wear these things... 

********

The bandages are all off... and my fur is growing longer... though I don't look anything like I used to, as Pyjamas told me... I hope I don't look ugly... but does it really matter now, since she doesn't care how I look, that she's cared for me all this time, even when I was just a living-wound?

I may start eating solid food again very soon... Pyjamas gave me some to try, and I ate a little, but I didn't like it that much... the milk and broth taste better.

I'm not totally naked anymore... now I'm wearing gloves, but they're not like my old ones... they're fingerless, so I can still feel things... and I have new shoes...

Right now, I'm on the floor, a carpet... she set me down there, and is going to get something... I lay down and wait, running my fingers across the carpet... it's like thick, short hair...

I can hear-and feel-footsteps... Pyjamas is back... she gently raises me up to a sitting-position... and sets me back down on a pillow... then wraps a flannel blanket around me... it's different, laying down on the carpet...

"There you go," she says, "Just relax, and I'll fix some tea for you. Let me know if you're feeling sick or something"

Pyjamas kisses my forehead, then walks out of the room. She's going to the kitchen... I can tell, because I can hear her footsteps... and smell the tea...

I feel around, and my hand touches the couch, the one Pyjamas would lay me down on while she was changing the sheets on my bed... I can remember how it feels... but it smells different...

With both hands, I push myself up, still very weak... my legs are shaking... I don't think I can stand up without support... but I'm standing... I don't dare let go... I'm going to fall...

More footsteps... and the scent of tea is stronger... I feel arms gently catching me... Pyjamas...

"Easy there..." she whispers, as she takes my hand, supporting me.

I take a few small steps towards her, turning with great difficulty, then my legs give out... I'm so tired it's still hard to believe...

"Whoops!" Pyjamas chuckles, as she catches me and eases me onto her soft lap...

I'm laughing... strange... why am I laughing when I just fell?

Pyjamas hands me the cup, and a spoon... I can drink without help now, though I sometimes spill a little...

I feel her handing me something else... hard... I scrape it, and it crumbles a little... and smells sweet... a biscuit... something Maria shared with me... she wasn't supposed to eat it before dinner... I break it in half, and give a piece to Pyjamas... she finally takes it, then I touch her face, and feel her smiling... 

"Maria used to do that," I say, remembering the moment and feeling... happy...

********

He's smiling... Shadow is remembering Maria... and smiling...

I can feel his spirit healing... he's growing stronger every day... now he's so cheerful... nothing like he was when I found him... and his fur is growing longer, white and grey, not black and red... his arms are bare... strange... they used to be black... as did his hands...

I made some new gloves for him, and other clothes... some made him uncomfortable, but he seems to like the gloves... he looks so sweet, his new white fur is fluffing-out... and there's that almost constant look of wonder on his face... those rain-clouds in his eyes seem to dance...

Shadow touches my face again... stroking it, but staying away from my eyes... why do I hide them from him? He can't see what other people can... what would frighten them the most, with the exception of Ebony... Shadow wouldn't see me as a freak... so why do I hide from him?

I'm having another flashback...

//WE'RE NOT GONNA HAVE ANOTHER FREAK IN THIS FAMILY!!!//

I'm in my room... my old house... I see myself in the mirror... fourteen... I'm fourteen... no... no... please...

//SHE'S GOING TO THE CLINIC!!! AND THAT'S FINAL!!!//

//But-//

I hear a sound of a hand striking someone's face... glass breaking... then I feel a flutter...

"No..." I whisper, tears pouring from my eyes, "...no..."

I can feel him holding my hand... he knows... or at least he senses it...

"What's wrong, Pyjamas? Are you ok?" Shadow asks, with the innocence of a child.

I hesitate... why? It's just... I don't want to think about what happened...

"I... I don't... please..." I stammer, trying hard to control my tears...

********

What was that flutter in my stomach? And the clinic? It must've made Pyjamas very sad... like me... I wish she would tell me, so I could help, like she did for me...

I reach up, pulling her closer, so her face is within my reach, and kiss her cheek...

It's wet with tears... I wipe them away and kiss her again, staying away from the eyes that caused her so much heartache...

She takes my hand, then brings it to her closed eyes... nothing strange about them... nothing different except that they're wet with tears... I kiss them both... and feel her arms around me again...

"Don't cry... I can help you..." I whisper.

She's nervous... probably about that flash...

"Here, let me set the video up, then we can watch a movie" she sighs, probably trying to change the mood.

Pyjamas gets up to get the 'tape', while I sit back against the couch. I wonder what the movie will be today... she likes to surprise me... and I don't mind because the 'surprises' are always pleasent...

Sometimes we 'watch' something called 'tv', and Pyjamas describes what is happening, even using her powers a little. It's almost like being read to, and I like some of the 'comedies' and 'science fiction'... there are some things that I don't understand, and she explains them to me... I wish i could have a 'visor' so I could see again...

I drink my tea, being careful to blow on it first. I had a nasty surprise a few days ago when I didn't wait for it to cool, and had to suck on an 'ice-cube'. Being burned is agony, even if it's only in your mouth...

There are different kinds of tea... this one cools my mouth, and when I swallow, I feel strange... light... this feeling spreads through my body... 'mint-tea'... I take a small bite of my biscuit, eating slowly so I don't throw up... it tastes sweet... but it probably tastes different when i'm not drinking mint-tea... mint-tea does weird things to food...

I put the tea and biscuit down, then lay back and pull the blanket tight around me... it feels so good... warmth... and the lovely smell... something I remember from when I first arrived on Mobius, but never paid attention to because of my anger and hatred... what is it? I could swear I remember that fragrance from somewhere...

"I think you're gonna like this one,"

Pyjamas is back with the tape... I can hear her setting it up... then she sits down next to me, puts an arm around me... strange... what is this... feeling...?

I feel for her mouth, then bring her closer to me... and kiss her... right on the lips... she lets out a cry of surprise... confusion? Did I do something wrong?

"I-I'm sorry I d-didn't mean to-I" I stammer like an idiot...

My face feels hot... am I having a fever? Am I sick? Am I going to die??? And Pyjamas is feeling the same way... hot and confused... so nervous she's sweating...

I feel her embracing me again... she's chuckling softly... I reach for her mouth again... she's smiling... drawing me closer... gently kissing... my mouth...? I don't want to stop... it feels so good... what is it that I'm feeling, though?

"You're not gonna die, my little snow-angel," Pyjamas laughs, "It's perfectly normal to be in love..."

In love? Is that what it is? Love... so I'm not sick... 'snow-angel'... I'm an... angel?

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	5. Breaking Free

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Ok, as usual, mush abounds. And yes, I do get over-dramatic. Warning: if you are for abortion, please don't read this.

And no, Pyjamas' step-father doesn't rape her. He only spanks her, but he's still a real jerk.

Also, 'Nara da Hedgehog' (formerly known as animelover and shadowlove, and probably soon to be known as a symbol that I don't think I can type), would you like me to help you with your fic, 'someone for me'? There are ways to make it sound a little less awkward.

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I heard the news... the military thinks this 'Shadow' is still alive... one mentioned an odd-ball hippie with a "bad hair-cut"... Pyjamas...

It's been several months, and she's hardly talked to me at all... and to think I'd miss her dud-visions... she's hiding something, and it's something big... I know it!

And I saw her in the shop the other night. She was buying what looked like a cane, but it was white... white canes are for blind people... is she going blind? It doesn't make sense! Why would they look for an old, blind woman?

Pyjamas doesn't know I saw her, and she won't answer my calls now... I'm so worried about her... Pyjamas, please be ok...

"Another coffee, please," a hedgehog at the table says.

"Sure thing, Super-I mean-Sonic" I answer, my heart panging with the memories of Super Sonic... I wish I could bring him back... I would try to find some way to keep him alive...

"Ebony! Are you alright?"

Sonic's voice startles me...

"I-I'm fine, Sonic... I'm just..." I sigh pitifully, and Sonic gives me a concerned look...

It's all I can do to keep from crying. I tried to hide it, but it still comes back, and I can't stop grieving... and Sonic knows what it's like. He lost Johnny, after all... I just don't know who's feeling worse, and who's trying harder to hide the grief...

Super... at night I hold myself, pretending you're there with me again... sleeping next to me... I wake up hugging the pillow, soaking it with tears... I wish you were here right now... here, as Super and not just Sonic...

I'm so hopeless...

********

S... H... A... D... O... W... I poke holes into the paper as Pyjamas guides my other hand... she runs my fingers over the holes I made... I just wrote my name in 'braille'...

I can read... and it's so wonderful... I know what those holes mean...

"Please, Pyjamas, show me again," I beg...

"Ok," she says.

I put the 'stylus' down, and touch her face, just to feel her smile... ever since that night, things haven't been the same. They've gotten better, but she still gets so sad... what was moving inside her that made her cry like that? It must have been something very dear... and who was yelling? She was just a little girl, like... Maria...

I'm always going to remember her... that beautiful smile, her jokes and games... and the kiss... I don't want to forget her anymore... the ache is gone... my 'heart' is no longer 'broken'... but it seems that I opened a wound in Pyjamas' heart... I wish I hadn't... I hate knowing she's in pain, probably as much as I was when I tried to destroy Mobius...

I had grown used to the alcohol and peroxide, but now Pyjamas has stopped using that, and it feels weird... not that I miss the sting...

Now she immerses me in water to clean me... I have to remember to close my eyes so the 'soap' doesn't sting them... it feels so good to be cleaned like that, with something that doesn't burn my whole body... and I smell different afterwards... like the soap...

After I spell my name, and a few other words, she picks me up, since I'm tired and weak and can't walk very well... I think I know where she's taking me...

Pyjamas sets me down on the toilet lid, and helps me take off my shoes... I reach down and untie one... I leaned too far! I'm going to fall!

"Oops!" I hear Pyjamas say, as she catches me, and sets me back up on the lid.

I pant in relief... I'm still so weak, that I sometimes fall... at least she's there to catch me... strange... I don't feel ashamed... not anymore...

Pyjamas holds me steady while I untie my shoe... she's so patient... I slip it off, then I take off my socks... I'm a little clumsy, but I get them off... it feels good to be able to do these things for myself again...

I hear Pyjamas turning the water on... and feel the warm, moist air... warm water is heaven...

While the water is running, I push myself off the toilet lid, and hold onto it for support with one hand, while the other one feels for Pyjamas... Sure enough, I can feel her take my hand... and embrace me... she gathers me into her lap, and kisses me... on the mouth... deeper... our tongues touch... I don't get so hot and uncomfortable anymore... this must be normal...

I rest my head against Pyjamas, and hear that familiar sound... and feel her stroking my back... Sometimes I don't mind not being able to see, even though I'd love to actually see what is happening on these 'shows'... I think it's so much better to just read or listen to the 'radio'...

She helps me up... and I step into the bathtub... the water is so warm... I take off my gloves, and hand them to her, then settle into the water, letting it engulf me... Pyjamas washes me, and 'shampoos' my fur... then, she 'rinses' me... I hold my breath, then let it out in a laugh as the water washes down my back and my face... I shake it off...

"Aahhh! You're gonna get me all wet!" Pyjamas laughs... before 'splashing' me...

When I get out, I feel this chill... I hate that feeling, being cold all over, shivering, fur dripping, like when I was first found... but Pyjamas always wraps me in a 'towel'... it's warm and fuzzy...

"Can you show me that braille book again, please?" I ask.

"Just as soon as you get dried off enough," she answers, rubbing my fur...

********

Shadow is almost well enough to walk on his own... and he's learning to read... I never thought I'd know such joy...

//Arthur... we shouldn't be doing this... what if Step-father finds out?//

//Don't worry. We'll get married, and you'll never have to worry about that sod again.//

//Arthur, I don't know... I don't think we should be... you know...//

//Dont' worry 'bout a thing, baby-doll, I'm the man you've been dreamin' of...//[author's note: got that from "What It's Like", by Everlast]

No... please no... I'm at home... my step-father is hitting me... please stop...

//Now I'll ask you again, do you want to go to the clinic?// 

//No...//

He slaps me again... in the face...

//I don't think you heard me. Do you want to go to the clinic?//

I don't answer... I'm terrified...

//DO YOU WANT TO ABORT THAT FREAK??? DO YOU??? ANSWER ME NOW BEFORE I GET ANGRY!!!//

I start to cry... I'm so confused... then he grabs me... pulls down my slacks... no... he's... smacking me... on my bare bottom...

I'm shaking... sobbing... this happened years ago... why is it coming back to me? Why am I remembering it now?

Shadow reaches up, and wipes my tears, kisses them away... is he capable of understanding this?

"Pyjamas..." Shadow says... "I'm sorry I made you so sad... I won't touch your eyes again, if it hurts you like-"

"It's not your fault," I reassure him.

"Who was yelling at you?"

I freeze... how should I answer? What should I say? I don't even want to remember what happened... it's so painful and... I feel so ashamed... why couldn't I have...

"N-nobody..." I stammer...

"Somebody was hurting you..." Shadow says, obviously having heard my thoughts...

"Yes... he did..."

I wish I could see my real daddy again... why did you have to die? Why did Mummy have to go live with Step-Father? Why? He was mean... didn't like my eyes... made me... made me wear my hair... like... like this...

But he's dead now... I smile, then rise to my feet, sitting Shadow down... it's time for a change... I smile as I look in the mirror, and take the scissors, the same kind of scissors I had many times used to 'hurt' myself... and... *snip* *snip* *snip*...

Then I open my eyes... funny, I forgot how beautiful they looked, or so my mother and real father told me... silver... just like my father's...

"Yes, my eyes are silver, my dear step-father!" I say, "Try to smack my bum now! Come on, I dare you to step out of hell and beat me up! Come on and hit me, 'Step-Father'!"

I will never hide my eyes like that again!

********

I get up from my seat, slowly pushing myself up... then my legs give out... I'm still not very steady... Pyjamas takes me into her arms, and I reach for her face, for her eyes... strange... they aren't covered...

"I cut my hair, Shadow," she says, "I've hidden my eyes for too long... I don't need to... anymore...

She cut her hair... it feels... different... she's so happy... but there's something I need to know...

"What's an abortion?" I ask.

"It's..." Pyjamas begins... "

She mind-links with me, and I 'see' and feel everything... the baby... killed... why did he force her to abort? especially when it hurt... Pyjamas was crying while they did that... I kiss her cheek again, and wrap my arms around her...

"It wasn't your fault. Your 'step-father' lied to you... you didn't want to kill your baby... it wasn't your fault... just like it wasn't my fault that Maria died... I was frightened, and didn't know what to do, and I didn't think to take her with me... If I had thought to take Maria and then run..."

"You couldn't have known," Pyjamas tells me, stroking my head, holding me close to her soft chest, "You were just a baby... you were so innocent... you couldn't have known..."

There's a long pause... then I kiss her again... 

********

If Pyjamas doesn't answer me soon, I'm going to see what's up. If the G.U.N. has done anything to her, I'll... I don't like to think about what I'd do if they hurt my friend...

I talked with Sonic about this, and he does look worried, even though he's trying to just write it off as her typical weirdness. I can tell even he thinks something is up... I hate to get the others involved, but I can't just let my best friend get hurt...

I set down the cup of coffee that I've been not drinking... it's cold... That's it. If I don't get a call, I'm going to see what she's hiding... or better yet, who...


	6. Ebony to the Rescue

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This isn't the end yet. In the next chapter, i'm planing on a reunion between Pyjamas and a certain old 'boyfriend' who will be parting ways with his beer-money. Yep. That's the one.(if you've read 'whatever happened to super sonic?', you'll know who I'm talking about)

And if you've ever read my other fics, you will notice that I place more emphasis on relationships than action. This is a relationship-fic, not an action/adventure.

And I hope my Japanese is correct(at the end of this chapter). If not, please be nice about it:)

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Pyjamas is having another vision... And she saw the 'news' about the G.U.N. soldiars... they suspect she's hiding something, or someone... me... they still want to kill me, even after I saved everyone... I'm probably going to die soon... and Pyjamas... I don't want her to die because of me... I hope they spare her and kill me, not an innocent who just wanted to help... like Maria...

If I do die, at least I'll have lived... I'm afraid... but when I lay close to Pyjamas, I feel safe...

It's been several months, and I can now walk and do other things for myself. Pyjamas hasn't told me, but I know the damage to my eyes is irreversable... I will always be blind. I've accepted it. It's a small price to pay for this joy I now know...

It isn't much of a problem, though. I know my way around the house, and Pyjamas is careful not to leave stuff laying around anymore, since I tripped and almost broke my wrist a couple weeks ago. I just count the steps, so I don't have to worry about bumping into things. I can even bath on my own, now that Pyjamas marked the bottles of shampoo and conditioner in braille.

I'm still a little weak, and get tired easily, but at least I'm not helpless. Though I still love being held... it's such a wonderful feeling, being embraced, falling asleep in Pyjamas' arms, then waking up in bed, when I wasn't there the night before... maybe there was a reason I survived... maybe I was meant to know what it feels like to be happy, to actually live, and to be more than just a weapon... a friend...

We don't go outside anymore, now that the military could be watching. Pyjamas only goes out to buy food, and only when she is sure it's safe. I miss the cool night air, especially since I'm well enough to walk... right now, I can only sit by an open window and feel the gentle breezes... it's not the same, but it's enough...

At least I can walk now, sometimes using this 'white cane' to help me feel around, just in case something is in my way... besides, if the military decides to give up, I'll be able to go outside again, and I'll have to use the cane, or a 'guide-chao'.

And I can read better now... Pyjamas gave me some braille books to read, and even though it's difficult sometimes, I can't stop. Why did Gerald want to destroy this place? Mobius has so many wonderful things... why did he harbor such hatred towards it?

Pyjamas told me that something was 'wrong' with him... his mind was messed-up... sort of like her step-father's... I still can't understand why people fear those who look different...

I felt her arms... they have scars on them... Pyjamas used to cut herself... she hurt so bad inside that hurting herself outside made it go away for awhile... or at least it helped her ignore it, helped keep her sane...

You deserved better, Pyjamas...

********

Well, looks like we're both in a spot. Cutting my fringe wasn't my most brilliant move... but then again, it's not the first time I acted without thinking...

Arthur, you bugger! Why didn't you tell me you were married? Shouldn't've been sleepin' around with him... wanted a man who would hold me, then I find out he was married... kept callin' me 'Madge'... she would be furious if she knew... don't know what she'd do to me... probably shoot me...

Then I got pregnant, he didn't beat up my step-father like he told me... I was forced to abort my baby... I remember telling the doctor that I wanted the abortion... didn't want to make step-father mad, didn't want to be hit anymore... then I felt so awful, wanted to see my baby, but it was already thrown away... strange... people would treat someone so helpless like a piece of rubbish... if step-father wasn't dead, I would personally strangle him to death, to hell with the consequences!

I've endangered myself and Shadow... I was getting these weird vibes one day, and Ebony, as usual, wrote them off as another dud... but it felt so strong, like when Super paid us a visit... and I knew I had to act, or someone would die... I was right. My visions aren't that reliable, but this time, I was right. And that poor hedgehog needed care... if I hadn't rescued him, Shadow would have died cold and lonely...

Ebony's probably going to find out sooner or later... she's my best friend, and probably the only one who puts up with me... yes, I know I'm annoying, I have no taste in clothing... my visions are a regular pain in the arse... but she doesn't care... I hate making her worry like that when she's so nice to me...

Shadow's walking on his own, and doesn't fall as often. He's been helping me around the house, and listening to me sing off-key... I can tell that my voice is terrible, and I usually just butcher whatever I'm singing... Shadow just covers his ears and makes a face... I can't sing... and I hate subjecting Shadow to my voice...

And this relationship probably isn't the best for him... I could die in a few years, and then Shadow... Shadow would probably go back to hating everyone... or at least he would be heart-broken... but I can't break it off... he needs me, and I guess I need him too... maybe this was meant to be... only time can tell...

I wish I could just take him to the Groovy-Train, but it's too risky. The military is getting suspicious, and may be waiting for me to make a wrong move. Shadow may look different now, but they got those DNA-things that are supposed to tell who someone is... even his quills could give him away... and my weird behavior. Bad hair-cut...

Something inside me knew that getting Ebony involved would be dangerous... I wanted this to be a total secret, until Shadow was well enough to travel... I pray that it won't be too late...

********

That's it. I've had it! I'm going to Pyjamas' house, so I can see what she's hiding... though I can guess what it is... the military, her odd behavior... she's probably hiding Shadow, that hedgehog the G.U.N.'s looking for...

Sonic's keeping the soldiars busy, as well as someone else whom I've put an illusion-spell on, while I'm trying to sneak over to her place. I forgot to lock up the Groovy-Train, but Pyjamas is more important... besides, why would anyone rob from that place? Lava-lamps... and everything looks like relics from a couple decades ago... too tacky for most people...

And most of my customers come here for the novely. maybe they see Pyjamas as a form of entertainment... the crazy old psychic who's almost never right... and I used to tell her she was scaring away my customers... maybe I was wrong...

Well, I'm at her house... I knock on the door, but she doesn't answer...

I try again... still no answer... please don't be dead!

"Please be alright, Pyjamas..." I cry out, "I'll stop getting on you about your visions... I know you can't control them, and you're only trying to help me... I'm so sorry about doubting you..."

Still no answer... ok, I'll have to resort to magic again... I aim at the door, and chant a spell... green energy comes out of my hands, and breaks the door down... I hear a scream... Pyjamas!

"Pyjamas! Are you ok?" I call to her...

Silence...

"PYJAMAS!!! CAN YOU HEAR ME??? ARE YOU OK???"

Now I'm scared... did something happen to her? Did one of the soldiars... rape her? I've heard about elderly women being raped, and I don't trust those G.U.N. soldiars... if one of them raped her, I'm going to kill him slowly, starting where it hurts the most...

"E-Ebony...?"

Pyjamas!

"You're alright! Oh, thank The Maker!" I cry.[author's note: got that from Babylon 5. this 'Maker' is from the Centauri religion]

She walks into the room, cautiously, and I run to her, and hug her tightly...

"Oh, Pyjamas... why didn't you... why were you...?" I'm so overjoyed to see her, that I'm almost speechless...

She hugs me for a moment, then pulls away... strange... I've just noticed something... her hair... it's not covering her eyes... and it's longer, except for the fringe...

And that look on her face... grim and fearful... and sad...

"You shouldn't be here," she says, "I don't want you to get involved. They could kill you too"

The military...

"Well, they'll have to get past me before they can even touch you, and whoever you're hiding"

A pause... Pyjamas looks down and sighs...

********

I remember when I first met Ebony... I had bought a gun, and was going to put an end to my suffering once and for all... then I heard her crying...

"Are you ok?" I asked.

"I'm lost," the kitten wailed, "We just moved here, and now I can't find my way home from school! I want my mummy and daddy!"

I hugged her, then thought of something...

"I don't know if this'll work, but let's give it a try..."

I placed my hands on her head the same way my father used to, hoping it would work... I'm only half-and-half, since my mother was a mundane, or non-psychic... that's probably why I can't control my visions that well, that and I'm only a touch-telepath...

"Now just relax..." I told Ebony.

"Ok," she said.

To make a long story short, I was able to help Ebony remember where her home was... and she was able to find her way back... we were best friends after that... I destroyed the gun... could've sold it, but I think this taught me a lesson... I had wasted money on something pointless, and almost missed out on making a friend...

Now Ebony's put herself in danger... no... I think I put her in danger...

"Please, you mustn't stay here," I tell her, "You could get killed!"

"I don't care," she says, "You're my best friend, and I'd risk everything for you. Now come on. Sonic's holding the soldiars off, but I don't know how much time he's buying us. We've got to hurry!"

She grabs my arm, and starts towards the door, but I can't... not without...

********

"Come on!"

Why isn't she coming with me? What's going on?

Suddenly, I hear a voice...

"Who's there?"

We both turn to see... a hedgehog! But who could he be? And he looks like he's in pretty bad shape... scars on his face and arms... but his quills look so cute. White, with gray stripes...

"Shadow... it's alright," Pyjamas says to the hedgehog, "She's a friend"

Shadow? This is the hedgehog the military was after? So that's why she's been hiding all this time!

Pyjamas rushes into her bedroom, and comes out with a jacket... she wraps 'Shadow' in it, and picks him up...

"There's no time to lose!" I yell, before running out of the house, my best friend following me with a hedgehog in tow.

When we get to the Groovy-Train, everything is just how I left it. Good. Nobody was there... at least there was no sign of a break-in... I lock the place up, then we hurry over to my house...

Pyjamas lays Shadow on a couch, then sits down next to him... and closes her eyes... she's asleep... she probably didn't get much sleep lately, and I can understand... it was like that when we were hiding Super Sonic... but even with the paranoia, I still treasure that short time Super was with us... someday, I'm going to try to get you out Sonic... and even if you have to be re-charged, it would be worth it...

"This place smells strange," Shadow says...

What? I think I cleaned it recently enough so it wouldn't smell...

No... wait a minute... he's reaching out to feel for me... he's blind... now I notice his eyes... they're gray and cloudy... no irises or pupils... they were burned... but how? I heard that Shadow had died... he'd fallen from ARK... I thought he burned up on re-entry... but he's alive! He's not used to the smell of my house...

I take his hand... and hold it to my face... this 'ultimate life-form' is so child-like... he strokes my face, and his eyes widen...

"You feel different," he says, with a child's sincerity.

I smile at his innocence... What a sweetheart...

"Yes, I do. I'm a cat"

Then he tells me what had happened... Pyjamas... sure, she can be annoying, not to mention tacky(though I'm not one to talk), and she leaves her knickers laying around after she takes them off... but she's also one of the kindest people I know... I'd never give her up...

"You know," I tell him, "You don't really look like a 'Shadow'"

The hedgehog gives me a puzzled look.

"I don't?"

"No. You look like an angel"

Shadow smiles.

"Pyjamas called me that... she called me a 'snow-angel'... am I an angel?" he asks, again with that unabashed sincerity...

"Yes," I answer.

You are an angel... Tenshi... that means angel... but tenshi is so overused in manga... how about Yuki... it means 'snow'...

"Yuki no Tenshi," I say, after a long pause... "it means 'Angel of Snow'"

********

Angel of snow... I am an angel... Pyjamas was right...

"Thank you, Ebony"

Then I fall asleep, knowing that I'm safe...

____________________________________________


	7. Double-Blow for G.U.N. & Arthur

_____________________________________

Ok, this chapter doesn't have as much mush as previous ones, but it does have some humor. Let's just say that some people will be humiliated, and Arthur will get his just desserts.

And SPOILER-ALERT!!! There's a spoiler at the end of this chapter!

Now, on with chapter 7...

_____________________________________

I can't believe it! Shadow is alive! Even when I see it with my own eyes, I still can't believe it! He looks so different... but his quills grow upwards, and he has that little patch on his chest... usually only girl hedgehogs have that... and those pale gray stripes... white and gray instead of black and red...

I'll know if it's him... I'll never forget that voice. I'll never forget how he called out to this 'Maria'... something had happened years ago that made it hard for him to trust anyone... even me...

"S-Shadow?" I stammer, unsure of what to say... if this really is Shadow, there's so much I want to tell him... please let it be Shadow...

"Sonic?"

The white-furred hedgehog looks up at me... or rather, turns his ears towards me. Ebony told me he was blind. his eyes must've been burned really badly, because they just have cloudy gray spots where there should be pupils...

But I know that voice. It's Shadow alright... his voice is a little different, a bit raspy and gentler...

"SHADOW!!!" I cry, as I hug him... before catching myself.

"I-I oops-sorry 'bout that!" I nervously appologize.

Shadow just sits there, bewildered... hope he doesn't think I'm a nancy or something-or worse, attack me... he just smiles... it's like all that hate and anger... all the pain that had been eating away at him had been lifted...

"It's ok," he says, "But my name isn't Shadow. Not anymore. It's Yuki"

I let him feel my face... it's strange, he trusts me now... doesn't try to pull away...

Shadow didn't die... Johnny... wherever you are... I hope you don't think I'm a failiure... I tried to be perfect... and I keep messing things up...

And Kintobor... I had to do it... I had to trip you and throw that rotton egg to fix the timeline so the Metallixes wouldn't take over Mobius... but part of me feels like a murderer... I turned you into Robotnik, and I don't know if I'll ever be able to rescue you... please forgive me...

Maybe I can start over now, clean the slate.

"Well, Yuki, welcome back"

********

He hands me a pair of glasses... and I know what they are used for. No... I'm not going to wear them. I'm not ashamed of my eyes.

"No, thank you, Sonic," I say.

"But don't you want-"

"No. They won't do anything to help me see, and I'm not going to cover my eyes. I know they look strange, but they're just eyes. And I have a white cane... That should be enough to let everybody know that I'm blind"

"I understand," Sonic says, "Now, all you need is a guide-chao"

A guide-chao... that I can handle.

********

I've been keeping Shadow-now Yuki-hidden at my place for the past couple weeks. Pyjamas has really taken good care of him, because it doesn't look like any of his burns have been infected... but she's done more for his soul... and he has done the same for her. I never knew that she had actually wanted to kill herself, or that her step-father would do such a thing...

Sonic's looking after Yuki today... after his latest brush with Robotnik, he needs a rest. Sonic may be fast, but he sure tires out quickly.

And Pyjamas, in order to fool the military even further, is pretending to be smashed, since what's left of the G.U.N. are hanging around my place... she sure is believable. After a certain little 'incident' that happened the night I came to rescue her and Yuki, the G.U.N. soldiars are losing their credibility. I think even if they do find out about Yuki, they won't do anything... not with the new funding-cuts due to said incident... gotta love those humes sometimes...

Oh, look... there's one now... and he's gonna question Pyjamas. He really doesn't know what he's getting himself into, does he? Well, time to sit back and relax, while the old psychic works her magic... I love this job!

"'Ey ociferr... 'ow ya doin' *HIC* heh heh... wanna rahm-peeding? *BELCH*"

Good one, though I can't wait for things to get normal... that is, as normal as a coffee-house run by a sorceress-cat and a psychic can get...

The human is drinking Pyjamas' beer... which is fine with both of us, since we usually don't drink alcohol, and then only the occasional shandy... coffee is better...

"Ahll fell ya tortuhhn... re o' farge..." Pyjamas slurs, before pretending to pass out.

The human drinks the rest of the beer, then looks at Pyjamas, thinking she's unconscious, and laughs.

"Well, looks like the old 'psychic's made a fool of herself again! Well, 'Madame Psychic', I hope you doesn't mind me 'borrowing' your beer!"

Time for me to work my magic now...

"Um, officer, she had her last drink two hours ago, and she's not one to nurse when it comes to beer"

The G.U.N. soldiar's eyes get big.

"WHAT???"

I smile at the soldiar, and let him think whatever he wants to think... it was only cheap beer, but what better way to get rid of an annoying G.U.N. soldiar?

He turns a rather sickening color, then puts his hand over his mouth and runs outside, probably to sick up the beer... or whatever he thinks it is...I think I'll turn on the radio and see if there's anything 'interesting' on...

"...And two G.U.N. soldiars were arrested for falsely-detaining self-proclaimed 'badnik-watcher' Norris Wimple. Both claimed that they were 'taking care of Shadow' and are now undergoing a psychiatric evaluation. Wimple sustained a few bruises, but is otherwise fine. He may press charges, as soon as he finishes developing his latest photos. Meanwhile, the entire military is under investigation concerning the selection and treatment of their officers. When one of them was questioned, he responded with 'no comment'... Also, in other news, once again rumors are circulating of Sonic's alleged affair with Sha-"

I switch to a music-station... had enough news for one day...

********

Well, we were able to track down Arthur... I remebered his last name and everything... turns out he was living very close to our Neighbourhood. And Madge is mad... but not at me...

"Um... well... I can explain, see-"

At that, Madge just laughs.

"Oh, I think I can understand it, even with my undersized female-brain"

Arthur sticks his nose into the air.

"Well, if you came for any child-support, 'Pyjamas', You ain't gettin' anything from me!"

Big mistake. Madge's eyes widen... she's infuriated... but before she can speak, I cut in.

"You don't have to worry about that," I say, tears forming in my eyes, "My step-father forced me to abort it... why didn't you beat him up like you said you would? Why didn't you marry me? If you were married, why didn't you just tell me? And why did you leave me when I got pregnant?"

One wrong word out of Arthur's mouth, and...

"Hmph! Good! Don't have to worry 'bout payin' for some freak!"

Too late... bye-bye, Arthur. It's been nice knowing you...

Grinning evilly, Madge slips her wedding-ring off.

"And I'm keeping it," she says, "Until I sell it, that is"

Arthur just shrugs. I don't think he quite gets it...

Madge, still grinning, begins taking everything that isn't too heavy to carry, some of it looking rather expensive, and loads it in some cardboard boxes.

"And how are you going to move all that stuff, Madge?" Arthur mockingly asks her.

Just then, two men walk in and start carrying out the boxes... and the furniture...

"Remember your beer-money? The beer-money you started saving after I made that little 'contribution'? I'm gonna put it to some good use! Oops! Guess I forgot to tell you; Pyjamas told me all about you sleeping with her behind my back when we were talking last night in the Groovy-Train. Just wanted to let you know that you have until noon to apologize to me, or I'm gonna file for divorce-oops! Guess I forgot! Time's up! Been nice knowing you!"

Arthur's jaw drops. After all these years, he's finally paying his dues...

********

"How did it go?" I ask Pyjamas, after she returns from her visit.

"Very well, as a matter of fact," she laughs.

Pyjamas strokes my head and back, then hugs me, and we tongue-kiss... we're safe now... totally safe. The military has stopped searching for me, and is busy with some 'scandal'... we've won.

"I don't know if you want to continue like this, Yuki..." she says after a few moments, "I may die soon, because I'm old, and psychics generally have short life-spans, often dying suddenly like my father did..."

"I knew you were old," I say, "And I know that when people grow old, they will die soon. But I also know that you need me. I can't leave you after all you've done for me. I want to spend my life with you"

Pyjamas touches my hand to her face, and smiles...

"Well, I guess nobody's gonna object to us 'going steady'"

Then she sighs.

"I'm really not supposed to even live this long," she says, "Most psychics don't even make it to fifty, and psychic mothers often die from difficult childbirth"

"But you're too old to have children"

"True. But are you sure you can handle me dying? You would be lonely again, and bitter-"

"No, I wouldn't," I interrupt, "It's different now. You were there for me when I was grieving for Maria, and I was there for you when you started remembering what your step-father did. Now I have other friends, like Ebony, Tails and Amy... and Sonic I think they will help me like you did"

"Well, if you're proposing to me," Pyjamas chuckles, "All you need now is a diamond ring"

I smile at her, and we tongue-kiss again. I had forgotten about that little detail... well, maybe I'll work at the Groovy-Train, then surprise her... I've heard some people might think it odd that I'm involved with someone so old, but then again, I'm probably older than her, chronologically... I think we were meant for each other.

________

There is still more to come. I'm still composing the epilogue in my head, even as I'm writing the author's notes.

For those of you who don't know anything about the Fleetway Sonic comics, Super Sonic is Sonic's evil alter-ego, which he would transform into whenever he got angry, frightened or hurt. Then Super got seperated from Sonic, lost alot of his energy and got amnesia, which was when Madge took him in.

Madge's husband, Arthur, objected to it probably because he recognized Super. Eventually, Super left Arthur and Madge's house and wandered for two weeks until he happened upon the Groovy-Train.

Pyjamas sensed his arrival, but didn't know who he was, and Ebony wrote it off as one of Pyjamas' dud-visions, since her visions are usually unreliable. Ebony took Super in, and Pyjamas mind-linked with him, curing his amnesia. After that, Super found out that as long as he didn't use his powers, he wouldn't turn evil, and Sonic couldn't detect him.

He lived in hiding for awhile, and vowed to never destroy anything again. However, this was not to be, as Chaos, the monster from Sonic Adventure, was awakened. Super started losing his energy and aging rapidly, and then he got caught in Chaos, absorbing all his energy and becoming evil again. Ebony was then forced to merge Super and Sonic with her magic, and that decision broke her heart.

Johnny Lightfoot, who was with Sonic almost from the beginning of the comic, was killed by Chaos when he was connecting a cable to a machine that was supposed to disable the monster. Sonic still feels guilty about this, because he let his fear get the best of him.

And Sonic had to go back in time to stop the Brotherhood of Metallixes from taking over Mobius, after they had prevented Dr. Kintobor from tripping over a cable and shorting out the R.O.C.C. device(which reacted with a rotton egg and turned him into Robotnik). Sonic was forced to re-create the accident, even tripping Robotnik to make sure it happened, which was really depressing. It reminds me of that old Star Trek episode 'City on the Edge of Forever', where Captain Kirk is forced to let Edith Keeler, an idealist and one of his many love-interests, die so America wouldn't disarm itself and become vulnerable to a nazi-invasion.

Also, Norris Wimple is one of the most annoying STC-characters. He's a badnik-watcher, and often takes unnecessary risks in his ventures. At least he only appeared twice. I think I'll kill him off in a short fic, like I did with Big the Cat.

There are a few sites about Fleetway's Sonic The Comic, and they are well worth taking a look at, because STC is alot better than Archie. Also, please check out RockChick's STC-2 series, which picks up where STC left off.


	8. Yuki's Paradise

Hey, sorry I didn't update for so long. Thanks for waiting, because I really wanted to make a good ending, which I had trouble coming up with. Also, there is college. Not the big university, but community college. And a net-buddy of mine, starlet angel, was undergoing some major spinal surgery, and is still recovering. I've been chatting with her alot, and she's been really nice, tolerating my curiosity about alot of what she went through, and other stuff.

I was a bit distracted, and have been working on one-shots to kinda get rid of this writer's block, and on a freeware website for my html-class, so you can see how busy i've been. And I'll probably really be working slowly once I get a job, because I'll be juggling work, college, friends, art, fanfiction, and a few radio-plays and critiquing some art on a website that I'm a staff-member of. As you can see, I'm gonna be very busy. And I'm willing to pay the piper, because I'm crazy and stubburn(must be my german blood).

Also, check my music pages out! I'm an artist on mp3.com and acidplanet. Just look for Lonesome Bullfighter, and please don't start running me down if my songs sound awful:)

And I'd like to thank the following people for being so encouraging: Orin, Rock-Chick, Elise Paine, Starlet Angel, BlushBunnyC3(you are a nut-case, girl!), and everyone who read my fics and reviewed. I'm glad so many people like my writing, even if it is super-mushy:)

********

"They make a cute couple, don't they?"

"Yeah..."

"You know people will talk, Ebony"

"So? If Super was still around..."

"Ebony!"

"I'm just saying that, if he were still around, I would definitely go for it"

"What?"

"Well, I would. Wouldn't you want to be with someone you love more than anything?"

"Ebony! Please!"

"You're jealous, aren't you?"

"What? Of him? Nah!"

"No, of her"

"..."

A pause...

"Ebony, you're weird"

********

Well, business in the Groovy-Train is back to normal. Pyjamas is back, and having her visions as usual, but they aren't so annoying anymore. She told me how her step-father used to beat her when bad things happened to him, because he thought that she made them happen, and she would often fake a cough or sneeze when she did have the visions. Now Pyjamas has very poor esp-abilities, because she actually tried to make them go away, just to make herself normal...

And when she had that abortion... those doctors actually threatened her. They threatened to with-hold the pain-killers, or to hurt her really bad... all because she was crying. They told her not to be a baby, and yelled at her. No wonder she dressed and behaved so oddly. I will never be so harsh with her about those visions again, even if they are duds.

Now, it's like she's changed a little. Pyjamas has a husband who loves her, and her 'ex-boyfriend' is paying his dues. And now that Yuki often comes to the Groovy-Train with her, and plays the guitar, business has actually gotten better.

The songs Yuki plays are usually sad, or deep and uplifting, like "My Sacrifice" or "Stand Here With Me"[a/n: by creed], and his voice is so haunting when he sings. I can see it in his eyes... this gentleness and patience... and innocence. Some people think innocence can't be reclaimed once it's lost, but it looks like they're wrong. Sometimes, one just needs to go through some pain and hardship... and then have someone show him kindness, so he can trust again.

It's too bad that not everyone gets the happyness they deserve. Super is still trapped in Sonic, and I hope he doesn't hold it against me... I only did it because I loved him. If they ever get seperated again, I'll make sure I treasure every moment my friend is here, and hopefully, Pyjamas will be able to keep him from going berserk again...

********

"I don't know about this... I don't want to hurt you, Pyjamas..."

"It's ok, Yuki... it'll only hurt for a little while..."

"I-I know... I... I just..."

"It's ok. We're married... we can take it slowly if you want to..."

"I'm just... nervous..."

"If it hurts too much, I will let you know. Please trust me, Yuki... relax..."

"I... I don't want to hurt you... I heard it hurts the first time..."

"It probably will. Lots of things hurt, like certain memories, but we've both faced them, and they don't hurt anymore..."

********

It didn't hurt. When we first made love, it didn't hurt at all. When I was 'seeing' Arthur, he was very rough, and it hurt when we slept together. But Yuki is so gentle, and he was so tentative on our wedding-night, afraid of hurting me... maybe it was that and the fact that we were in an unfamilliar area... but the next day, it was like nothing changed, yet something was different, and we could both feel it.

When I first found Yuki, he was suicidal... his mind had been poisoned by the death of his friend, and the cruel treatment by Gerald and the G.U.N. soldiars alike. Now, he's happy, just to sit and read, while enjoying his tea and listening to the radio. It breaks my heart to know that he'll never see with his own eyes again, and I can only give him little glimpses of the world, but he's told me not to cry. He's happy, but I can't help feeling sorry for him, sorry that he had to go through so much pain, even more than I did, and I have been through alot!

And I've forgiven my step-father. I mean, what can I do to punish him? How could I punish him enough? I would never be satisfied, no matter how much I made him hurt, so I've decided to forget about it. My child is in another place, and he isn't alone. Maybe Maria needed someone to keep her company until it's Yuki's time... and besides, my son is with his grandfather... my real father is playing with his grandson, just like he used to play with me.

I wish I could give Yuki a child, but I can't. Even with these 'in-vitro' things, it wouldn't work... I had an infection a few years after the abortion, and the doctor said that it could've been the culprit. They had to perform a hysterectomy, and all my dreams of holding my very own baby, and nursing it, were dashed forever. I was in alot of pain, both physical and emotional, and it was humiliating, because most of the nurses thought i was a tramp or something.

But now, I know what it's like to hold a baby, and feel him nursing from me... there's a smile on his face... even my step-father couldn't keep me from being happy.

********

It's cold out here... this is my first time visiting the mountains after the ARK incident, and before I fell back down to Mobius, I had never gotten the chance to enjoy anything. Not even the snow, or the wonderful smell of the trees there. I've smelled this 'pine-scent', but none of those artificial smells do the trees justice. And I love touching them. The needles tickle, and feel like quills... and the cones... I must take some home...

Pyjamas said that they make the room smell nice, and they keep for years. I even tried to eat one, only to get a mouthfull of wood. Pyjamas had to explain that we eat the seeds that grow inside the cone, not the cone itself... I was a bit embarrased, but strangely, I just laughed... it wasn't so bad... I had been programmed with all this knowledge, but experiencing it was better than just knowing.

The snow makes crunching sounds under my shoes... and it feels so cold even through my gloves... Pyjamas is teaching me how to make 'snow-balls'... we throw them for fun, and try to hit people with them, but they don't hurt... most people don't mind... and she's told me about this 'yellow snow', which I should avoid at all costs... no need to worry, since I can smell it, and would rather avoid that stuff. I like catching fresh snow as it falls alot better, and feeling it land on my face... it's like Maria's kiss... so gentle and cool... maybe Maria is kissing me, from where she is now.

We aren't using the snowball to throw... Pyjamas is making a 'snow-man'... I think I'll make one too... no... I think I'll make a snow-Maria. She was my first friend, the only one on the station who treated me like a person... my sister... she'll always live in my heart... the G.U.N. can't take her away, and someday, we'll be together again.

I take my gloves off, because I can't see, and I need to be able to feel... it's even colder, but I need to make her face just right... what I can remember of it... My beautiful Maria... it's freezing, my hands are 'numb'... but still I work... I can still feel a little...

Pressure... warmth... gloved-hands are holding mine... it's Pyjamas, she's rubbing my hands to warm them up... kissing them, tucking them under her jacket, under her... shirt... it's ok now, though, because we're married, and we can do that. She laughs and yelps as my cold hands touch her skin...

"YAAAAAA!!! COLD!!!"

Then she holds me up against her, kisses me on the mouth... I reach up and feel her face... She's smiling... some people probably think Pyjamas was hit by the 'ugly-stick', but I don't care. She rescued me before I died of exposure... and sustaned me with her love.

I've gotten used to living without my sight. It's scary sometimes, because I don't remember exactly what it was like to see out of my own eyes. Even Maria's face. I've forgotten what she looks like, and can only clearly remember her love...

And sometimes, I still cry for her. I can't seem to totally get over her death... but Pyjamas told me that's normal. It means that I have a heart. It's like my heart breaks open just a little, and it hurts... same thing happens to Pyjamas. Whenever she hears about abortions, or about people being forced to abort their babies, she cries, and sometimes gets very angry, even taking it out on me.

At least we always make up afterward. She said something about 'never letting the sun set on anger'. Her mother and step-father were always fighting, over everything, while her mother only had an occasional quarrel with her real father. I think we've both realized that we don't have to let our parents or others shape us.

It's kinda strange, how I wanted to die, but another part of me did. When I was rescued, I had wished that I had just suffered that pain a little longer, because those first couple months were hell. They were so painful, and monotonous, just being fed, bandaged, fed, and wetting the bed...

But somebody was there, always patient, always giving me this love that I didn't think I deserved. I mean, I did terrible things, tried to kill innocent people by destroying Mobius, but Pyjamas didn't care... she never gave up on me, even when I kept her up all night with my crying... for the first time in so many years, I had someone who was willing to just be there for me.

And I don't need much. I've been given plenty: a home, a warm place to sleep, and I can write. Everyone else wants these luxeries, money, fame, status-symboles... I'm content with what I have, and would rather just sit by the fire and write, while enjoying my tea and listening to the radio... or playing the guitar. I'm a fast learner, or so people say... maybe it's because of the way i was made, spliced and grown in a lab...

Everyone has disavowed knowledge of my former persona, Shadow. He's dead, they say, and in a way it's true. Shadow died. He doesn't exist anymore. I'm Yuki, and I'd rather be blind for the rest of my life, than ever become Shadow again.

Pyjamas... you've done so much for me, when I was helpless, unable to even sit up... you fed me, kept me clean and warm, and gave me contact when I was covered in bandages... you are so kind, holding me when I was crying for someone who died so long ago. You showed me the joy of learning to read and write, and being read to... it was so comforting, when i was still in my bandages, to just rest my head in your arms, and listen to your voice, feel you holding me... I'll never be able to give you back what you gave me, but I can try...

Maria, please don't be angry... I still miss you very much, but I'll meet you someday. I just don't want to die until it's time. 

I've found paradise.

~~~~~~~~

What does May find in December?

...Christmas.(got it from a devotional book)

~~~~~~~~

Yes, this is the final chapter, and I may make a sequal, though probably not in first-person for the whole thing. It got pretty tricky at some points, and I had to put it on hold for awhile because of school, and because I was having trouble making a good ending. And the thing is, if you wait a long time to make an ending, and then upload a crappy one, then the readers will not be happy.


End file.
